Childhood

Funny, right now I was thinking that when I was younger I thought that, at this moment, my friends would look older, more conscious, I thought they would have grown up a little bit more. I was completely wrong and, honestly, I'm glad I was wrong. We're kids, idiotic, stupid and flawed young kids. Although I have my age I feel like a children, I've been through many things and those things should had made me an angry and bad person. For a long time I was like that, I was arrogant, I still am, I was angry, now I am just agressive, and I couldn't trust anyone, life made me like that, my childhood, my parents, made me like that. I'm trying to change now, I wasn't happy before and I'm realizing the beauty and joy in life, I'm esteeming more and more the friends I have, my family because I could have had no family and that was definitely worst, basically, everything I have been accomplishing all these years, everything I learnt, my knowledge, my welfare, my studies and my hability to do some stuff. I'm grateful to many people and I most sincerely hope those peolpe know how much they've done for me, how much they mean and how much I treasure them. I'm not the most "feeling expressive" person in the world, actually, I almost don't express my feelings and that causes me lots of doubts because I never know if the people I care about know that I really care for them and I would protect them with all my strenght and life just to make them feel safe.

Holidays

I've been out for a couple of days in Cascais with some friends. For 4 days there were twelve persons in one house that wasn't small but it looked like it was with so many people. Six boys and six girls. The boys danced like crazy and the girls lost their shame it was fucking amazing! People sleeping everywhere, in beds, setees, couches and  even on the floor. We spent most of the days outside in the pool, we even made a midnight dive. They were the best days in my whole life, the best people ever and as we use to say "we can only miss who is here". It seems stupid I know that but is kinda true, I haven't missed the people that decided that it was to expensive or because their boyfriend didn't come. I can say with absolute certainty that it was PERFECT! I'll never forget this, never. I'll miss the alone talks that we almost couldn't have, the dinners and the lunchs, the awakening next to wonderful people, the snoring of some of the guys or the deep breathing of some girls. I'll miss playing Tekken and watch the others playing Fifa. I'll miss the insane dances and the shared beer. I'll miss the fast showers and the bed where we were able to be in with eight more people. I'll miss the private talks and something else that I'd rather not telling here ahahah, I'll miss the chocolate fountain that we intended to use, I'll even miss sleeping almost naked next to some people ahah. As I said, there were some crazy couple of days that none of us will ever forget. I LOVED IT.
Kisses and hugs.

I have absolutely no idea if anyone is reading this, I just want to say, apparently to no one, that I have made some changes here, I have deleted some posts and comments because they didn't mean anything anymore. I must also apologize for my mistakes on my writing abilities, I'm portuguese and I would like to improve my writing and this was the way that I found to do it.
Today I was planing to study a little or watching the last Harry Potter film. I am completely crazy about HP, call me whatever you want but I have no shame on admitting it, I am very proud.
I have been feeling very inspired lately, to write of course, the problem is I don't really know what to write... So, I decided I will continue to write whatever I want when I want. Unfortunately, no one is reading this but I would like some feedback on this.
K&H

After months without saying a word, I thought I could make an effort to write something here. Sometimes I have some reflection moments and words start popping in my head like tiny points of light.
So, this morning I received a phone call from my dad, he was about to leave his house to pick me up at mine. I already had everything packed in my bag and I just stayed watching tv like I always do. My mom left, she went to visit my grandmother, she left before I wake up, I've only sensed her kiss on my cheek and I fell to sleep again. Curious woman she is, she can be so kind and generous or a bitch without a reason. I love her anyway. I was carefully choosing the book I wanted to read while I was in his place, but then, I saw an empty space in my bookshelf and I thought "The Sorceress can't be alone in here", I picked up "The Necromancer" because I believed it would be a good company. "What can be a better company for a Sorceress then a Necromancer? Well, "The Magician" or "The Alchemist" would have been, but those will be travelling with me."
Half an hour later he arrieved. His upset and poorly wrinkled face gave me nightmares. He was almost 52 years old and yet he dressed like he have been dressing this way his whole life. Fisically he looked like he was around 40 years old, psychologically, he was 80. He says terrible things about anyone who seems different. I hate him, I can't stand him, his stupid conversations, his belief that the world his focused in him.
This day passed like every other day and today nothing special happened. I'll try to come back tomorrow to write some more.